#398 - Tweet! Tweet!

It has been a while since my last entry - but that's just because I've been working very hard on the Malt Madness site itself. One recent enhancement is the inclusion of a Twitter feed on the home page, which will enable me to refresh the site more frequently from anywhere in the world. And there's even a special page with more tweets. (And some clandestine music you might be able to enjoy if you can find the hidden buttons that will reveal it...)

I imagine that things might be getting a little confusing for the people that have been following Malt Madness and the "spin-off" Malt Maniacs for a few years. First, there was the separate Malt Maniacs site (and Serge's "Whiskyfun" sister site, of course). And then the maniacs appeared with their own "group" on Facebook... And then some more maniacs started their own sites... And then Malt Maniacs appeared on Twitter... And then Facebook sort of abanded their "groups" idea... And then even more certified malt maniacs launched their own web sites... And then Malt Madness appeared on Twitter... Indeed, very confusing... 

The root of all this evil is NetObjects Fusion. When I built the very first pages of the Malt Madness site in 1995, I did so by writing HTML code directly. I moved to Netscape Composer not long after that - and finally to the antique WYSIWYG editor "NetObjects Fusion" in 1998. At the time, it was a fairly brilliant program that was a serious competitor for Macromedia's Dreamweaver. Well, somewhere along the way something went horribly wrong. The result is that, in practical terms, the software is not supported any more. There is no meaningful development, so there is simply no way to develop the current web site(s) much further in technological terms. So, any further evolution will have to use other platforms and technologies as well - like social media, mobile phones, etc.

Anyway, with entry #400 coming up, I suddenly noticed that I haven't posted any fresh tasting notes on this blog recently. There actually has been more than enough fresh material in the profiles in the distillery data section and on the malt maniacs monitor, but I haven't been able to posting anything here yet. Well, as luck would have it, I've just received an interesting sample from Duncan Taylor. However, I'm still struggling with the after-effects of a nasty cold. So, look for that in my next entry. 

In fact, you might as well stop reading right now if you'd like to read about whisky any time soon. I'll be abusing this blog to keep those who want to know about my life informed - until I've reached a healthy weight again and can enjoy more whiskies than the two or three drams a week I'm allowing myself right now. Check out Malt Madness (or follow me on Twitter) if you'd like to get back to whisky...

Thanks to the aforementioned cold (and the very crappy weather we've had over the past three weeks), I haven't been able to do much exercise over the past few weeks. As a result, my weight is still bouncing between 105 and 106 kilo's. So, I've only lost some six kilo's since January 1 - the next six will probably be quite a bit harder. Still, I have some high hopes to get under 100 kilo's again by June 1.

Further updates on my life: Remember my post about my smart phone? Well, I decided to upgrade to a Blackberry to be able to check my e-mail - with a Vodafone account so I could keep the same mobile number. And then it turned out that I couldn't actually keep my own number. Or check my e-mail for that matter, at least without paying some extra wads of cash to Vodafone AND Blackberry each month. FUKNUGGETS! To cut a long story short: I now have YET ANOTHER mobile phone. It's probably less smart than the previous two, but at least it can't be used as a conduit for commercial arse-raping by "the system". 

OK, that's it for now - more later...

Sweet drams,

 

#397 - The Thrashing of The Bottles

Do you recall me bragging about my smart phone in my previous post? Well, actually I was indirectly bragging about myself - because I wanted to prove that I'm smarter than my phone. Well, as it turns out now, I'm a bit more durable as well... That LG GW300 piece of crap lasted just a few days past 6 months - which is probably also the warranty period. 

Anyway - that's not the point...
As part of my journey towards a slightly healthier lifestyle, I've invested in a home trainer and a stepping machine - which I've installed in front of a TV so I can train my body AND my soul... Those machines allow me to get some exercise on the many rainy days we have in Holland. However, I need some room...

That means that, at long last, I will be getting rid of the last remains of my collection of empty whisky bottles. I've already managed to say goodbye to a lot of bottles a few years ago, but now it's time to bring the last few hundred whisky bottles to the glass bin. I'll be sad to see some bottles go (the design of some bottles and labels is quite beautiful - at least I think so), but at least I won't have to dust them off on a regular basis any more. 

(Once every two years before Christmas - that's regular, right?)

However, before I throw them out, I want to make sure that I record every tiny little detail in the Distillery Data section of Malt Maniacs - on the profile of the distillery where that whisky was distilled. This will be the last chance I have to record small details that might distinguish that particular batch from an earlier or later version. So, you'll be seeing some very detailed "bottle profiles" appearing in the DD section in the weeks to come. Hopefully, we'll find a way to include the information in the MMMonitor as well.

Sweet drams,

 

#396 - My Smart Phone

Now, free with a bottle of GlenWonka

One of the biggest problems of being as smart as me is that it's surprisingly easy to outsmart yourself. For example, on the way home from work around 15:00 PM (yeah, I only work part time - because I have only my own lard ass to support) I always pass a "Kentucky Fried Chicken" fast food restaurant. That's right, we have those in Holland as well. Once every two or three weeks I used to pass the restaurant in an unusually hungry mood - and then I would buy a burger or wrap, convincing myself that that would be my meal INSTEAD of my regular evening meal. Needless to say, around 19:00 or 20:00 my stomach usually had little trouble convincing my brain that I REALLY should eat something. So, Over the last decade and a half I've outsmarted myself to the tune of 32 additional and pretty useless kilo's (reasoning that I used to weigh around 80 kilo's and I was in tip-top shape at the time).

But how do I know that I'm smart, you ask? Well, thanks to logical reasoning - and the dozens of IQ tests I took as a confused teenager. I won't go into the details of my teenage years right now (that's a treasure trove of material for a website on its own) and why I took all those IQ tests, but in the end it took surprisingly little cheating to arrive at the desired end result: that I have an IQ of at least 400. [Legal notice: actual numbers may appear larger in the rear view mirror of one's mind than what is actually supported by historical evidence.]

Anyway - back to how I know I'm smart... Well, since a while, I'm the proud owner of a smart phone. It says so, right there on the box - and I'm sure they wouldn't dare putting it on the packaging if the fact wasn't scientifically established, right? So, I'd like to present the fact that my phone is smart as the first half of my case. Now, although my smart phone has many features, it can't get on the internet yet - for example to access the Malt Maniacs Monitor. I, on the other hand, can. Therefor, I'm even smarter than my smart phone. 

Beat that, Nietzsche!

Alas, as I mentioned my uncanny smartness has lead to the current overweight - and I'm still resolved to work off a sizeable chunk this year. (Which is REALLY smart, my doctor tells me...) So, thanks to the "distance measuring" web site that I mentioned in my last post, I'm now taking long and brisk walks through the park or along the beach. (Amsterdam is only 25 kilometres from the beach and easily reached by bike or train. And while I'm told that "taking long walks on the beach" is supposedly a favourite hobby of romantically inclined women of the female persuasion, I can assure you that there is little less romantic than the sight of me dragging my excess lard across the beach. Fortunately, with the weather conditions we're having right now, the beach is usually mostly deserted - AND I have to drag around 3,6 less kilo's of fat. The scale now says 108,4 kilo's, two weeks into the new year. I'm on course so far...

Sweet drams,

  

#395 - The Best of Intentions

 

First of all, the very best wishes for 2011 to all!*  

(* = these wishes apply to everybody, but only remain valid until somebody does something that pisses me off, in which individual case these wishes are revoked automatically. No further action is required on the part of the piss-offer.)

So, one of my good intentions for this year was to buy me one of those fancy Giant Power Heidelberg Electric Belts I had seen in an advert some time ago, but when I visited the local electric belt store they told me they had just ran out. Anyway, I did not let that deter me, so I decided to start with the next best thing: walking. You might think that that's hardly a very impressive way to start a healthier regime, but I'm afraid that the amount of excess weight on my bones has grown so much out of control that those bones would have to process fairly big impacts with each step if I started running on pavement right away. So, I'm going to start nice and easy...

And as luck would have it, I recently found the Dutch site www.afstandmeten.nl. 

The concept is utterly simple - but brilliant. With the help of Google Maps / Earth you can easily plot several different walking / running / cycling routes in your area and the site tells you the exact length / distance of the route. So, I've now set out several routes in the area through nearby parks, varying in length between 2 and 10 kilometres. I plan to take two stiff daily walks from now on, and I can now easily choose a route based on the weather conditions and the amount of available time.

It's a shame the web site only has a Dutch interface, but the idea is so simple that I'm sure there must be sites in other languages as well that provide this information / service in your language. Nevertheless, the site is just a shell around Google Maps, so as long as you remember to choose the "hybrid" view the Dutch site might work for you as well. Just in case you have good intentions for the new year as well, here's how it works;

1) Go to www.afstandmeten.nl, 

2) find the entry field below "Ga naar" (4th line from the top in the upper left corner),

3) enter your address and hit the magnifying glass (or drag the map there),

4) choose the "hybrid" view from the options in the upper right corner (OSM, OCM, etc.),

5) zoom in to the required detail view,

6) click once on the point where your route is supposed to start (front door, office, etc.),

7) add points to the route by clicking on the map where-ever you change direction, 

8) remove points by clicking on a point (your cursor changes to a hand when you hover)

9) The overall distance is indicated at the upper left; "Afstand: 3620.30m (12 punten) ".

That value means that the route is over 3,5 kilometres long and leads you along 12 points. Simple enough, eh? I know from experience is that I need some feedback to stay motivated, so knowing that a certain detour adds exactly 600 meters to my walk helps.

I'll be doing much more than just revising my diet and taking long walks, but I'll get back to that in future reports. I know I'll have to take small steps and change my routines and schedule after every few kilo's of weight loss, so for now I'm aiming for a first goal of 105 kilo's. When I weighed myself yesterday morning, the scale said 112 kilo's, so I'll have to lose 7 kilo's in the weeks that lie ahead. If at all possible, I'll try to make at least 10,000 steps every day - which should equal some 8 kilometres a day for somebody with my short stubby legs... 

I'll also be spending some time on the home trainer and stepping machine each day, so I hope to reach my goal of 105 kilo's by the end of February... If that works, I'll open a very special bottle of whisky from my reserve stock before I start working towards the next goal; getting under 100 kilo's. (The ultimate goal is 75 kilo's, but that's long term planning...)

Sweet drams,

 

#394 - 10 Most Wanted Whiskies (?)

Bugger! When I read Whiskyfun a few days ago, I saw Serge's top 10 of tasted malt whiskies. That reminded me of an ad I saw for the site www.minibottles.eu - and that in turn reminded me of the log entry about the "10 most wanted malt whiskies" (well, at least according to Google) that I had promised to write. 

When I tried to make the Malt Madness site even more Google-friendly a few weeks ago, I noticed that Google provides rough indications of the number of search queries for any given topic. The numbers Google provides are notoriosly unreliable, but perhaps the relation between the numbers in itself could be interesting. Or it cold be complete bollocks - we'll see... 

Anyway, I'll gather the raw data first, and will leave the actual thinking about those results for next year. So, according to the information on the Google AdWords dashboard, most searches (world wide) were done for these single malt whisky brands... 

1) Lagavulin (my "amazing discovery" of single malt Scotch whisky in 1991.)
2) Talisker (although Google indicates even more hits for Jameson - which is Irish.)
3) Cardhu (which surprised me, but perhaps it's because these are worldwide results.)
4) Macallan (which sounds about right - although J&B scores even higher than Big Mac.)
5) Glenfiddich (I expected the world's biggest brand to score higher than Crown Royal.)
6) Oban (but I have my doubts - Grant's, Dimple and Black & White score higher.)
7) Glenlivet (which came right after Canadian Club, so that's another question mark.)
8) Highland Park (which scored a little higher than the Teacher's blend.)
9) Laphroaig (which is a little surprising, considering it's difficult to spell.)
10) Bowmore (which scored higher than "Cutty Sark" and "whisky fun" to name a few.) 

I should point out that the basic search query I used for this list was "malt whisky" - and I've only included the brand names of Scotch whiskies. If I had used the broader search query "whiskey" (and if I had included all whisky and whiskey brands), the list would have looked fairly differently. I'll get into that research on the Malt Madness site itself - for the upcoming year I'm going to devote this liquid blog to a very specific topic. 

That topic will be my struggle in finding a new balance between my passion for and consumption of malt whisky on one end and a healthy lifestyle on the other. Because I can fully understand how that would be utterly boring for some, I've confined my rants on that particular topic to this blog for now. If you are one of those young and/or lucky bastards than are still able to combine whisky and health without any sort of compromise, I reluctantly congratulate and salute you - and point you to the main Malt Madness site...

And that's it for now. More later, HAPPY OLD YEAR!

Sweet drams,